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[Leadership tools] Communication techniques

Communicating Like a Human (Not a Robot)

Communication isn’t just about exchanging words - it’s about connection. It’s how we share ideas, build trust, and move forward together. When done well, it can transform a team from a group of individuals into a cohesive, motivated force. In this chapter, I want to share a few techniques that have helped me - and that I believe can help any leader create a more open, engaged, and emotionally intelligent work environment.

Let me start with a confession: assertiveness used to terrify me.

I remember one moment vividly. I was leading a workshop with a group of senior professionals, and halfway through, someone challenged my approach - politely, but firmly. My heart raced. I knew I had to respond, but I also knew that if I let my emotions take over, I’d either shut down or become defensive. Neither would help.

People communicate in the office
So I took a breath, grounded myself, and said, “I hear your concern. Let’s explore it together.” That moment taught me that assertiveness isn’t about being forceful - it’s about being clear, calm, and respectful, even when emotions are high.

If you’re working on mastering your own communication style, start with the basics:

  • 🧭 Clearly explain tasks and goals. Don’t assume people know what you expect - spell it out.

  • 🗣️ Give feedback regularly, and ask questions to understand what your team is working on.

  • 🔥 Resolve conflicts early, before they simmer into resentment.

  • 📅 Align on deadlines and expectations so no one’s left guessing.

Making Office Talk More Human

Here are a few strategies that can make your communication more impactful and relatable:

  • Use short words for hard things. When conversations get tough, simplify your language. It’s not dumbing down - it’s making space for clarity.

  • Choose sticky metaphors. A good metaphor can turn a dry concept into something memorable. I once described career transitions as “changing trains mid-journey” - and that image stuck with my clients for months.

  • Humanize data. Numbers don’t speak for themselves. Wrap them in stories, context, and meaning.

  • Make mission your mantra. When your team knows why they’re doing what they’re doing, everything else becomes easier to communicate.

Four Techniques That Changed How I Lead

Let’s break down a few powerful communication tools I’ve leaned on over the years:

👂 Active Listening

This isn’t just hearing - it’s showing you care. Nod, paraphrase, ask questions. When people feel heard, they open up. It’s how trust is built.

💬 Assertive Communication

Say what you mean, kindly and clearly. Use “I” statements like “I feel” or “I need.” It’s not about winning - it’s about being honest without stepping on toes.

❤️ Nonviolent Communication

This framework changed how I handle conflict. It’s about observing without judgment, expressing feelings, stating needs, and making respectful requests. It’s empathy in action.

🪞 Feedback Communication

Feedback isn’t criticism - it’s a gift. Use the SBI model: describe the Situation, the Behavior, and the Impact. It helps people grow without feeling attacked.

Communication is a skill, yes - but it’s also a mindset. When we lead with empathy, clarity, and courage, we don’t just get things done - we build something worth being part of.



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