Communicating Like a Human (Not a Robot)
Communication isn’t just about exchanging words - it’s about connection. It’s how we share ideas, build trust, and move forward together. When done well, it can transform a team from a group of individuals into a cohesive, motivated force. In this chapter, I want to share a few techniques that have helped me - and that I believe can help any leader create a more open, engaged, and emotionally intelligent work environment.
Let me start with a confession: assertiveness used to terrify me.
I remember one moment vividly. I was leading a workshop with a group of senior professionals, and halfway through, someone challenged my approach - politely, but firmly. My heart raced. I knew I had to respond, but I also knew that if I let my emotions take over, I’d either shut down or become defensive. Neither would help.
So I took a breath, grounded myself, and said, “I hear your concern. Let’s explore it together.” That moment taught me that assertiveness isn’t about being forceful - it’s about being clear, calm, and respectful, even when emotions are high.If you’re working on mastering your own communication style, start with the basics:
🧠Clearly explain tasks and goals. Don’t assume people know what you expect - spell it out.
🗣️ Give feedback regularly, and ask questions to understand what your team is working on.
🔥 Resolve conflicts early, before they simmer into resentment.
📅 Align on deadlines and expectations so no one’s left guessing.
Making Office Talk More Human
Here are a few strategies that can make your communication more impactful and relatable:
Use short words for hard things. When conversations get tough, simplify your language. It’s not dumbing down - it’s making space for clarity.
Choose sticky metaphors. A good metaphor can turn a dry concept into something memorable. I once described career transitions as “changing trains mid-journey” - and that image stuck with my clients for months.
Humanize data. Numbers don’t speak for themselves. Wrap them in stories, context, and meaning.
Make mission your mantra. When your team knows why they’re doing what they’re doing, everything else becomes easier to communicate.
Four Techniques That Changed How I Lead
Let’s break down a few powerful communication tools I’ve leaned on over the years:
👂 Active Listening
This isn’t just hearing - it’s showing you care. Nod, paraphrase, ask questions. When people feel heard, they open up. It’s how trust is built.
💬 Assertive Communication
Say what you mean, kindly and clearly. Use “I” statements like “I feel” or “I need.” It’s not about winning - it’s about being honest without stepping on toes.
❤️ Nonviolent Communication
This framework changed how I handle conflict. It’s about observing without judgment, expressing feelings, stating needs, and making respectful requests. It’s empathy in action.
🪞 Feedback Communication
Feedback isn’t criticism - it’s a gift. Use the SBI model: describe the Situation, the Behavior, and the Impact. It helps people grow without feeling attacked.
Communication is a skill, yes - but it’s also a mindset. When we lead with empathy, clarity, and courage, we don’t just get things done - we build something worth being part of.
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